Brek Shea Pounds A Free Kick Into The Top Corner To Give USMNT Lead

Gareth Bale Has Ugly Shot And Dumb Headband, Still Hits Half-Court Shots

Hm, this is a tough one. You’d think maybe Gareth Bale would flaunt going 3-of-5 in this half-court challenge thing, because damn, that’s some pretty good shooting. But then you remember what his awkward shooting motion looks like, and how goofy he looks with that headband, and you think, You know Gareth, you might… » 3/31/15 1:11pm Today 1:11pm

Adorable Soccer Man Juan Mata Has The Most Adorable Blog

Just looking at Juan Mata gives the impression that you're looking into the eyes of the sweetest, most helpful librarian who just oh-by-the-way happens to be a phenomenal soccer player. His slight build, his boyish face paradoxically covered with a lumberjack's stubble, his impressive command of English, and the… » 3/30/15 5:23pm Yesterday 5:23pm

Thierry Henry Shows He's Still Got It With Ridiculous Fake-Shot Pass

Few things in sports are better than that collective "Ohhhhh" you hear from a soccer crowd when a player pulls off a stunning bit of skill like Thierry Henry's little move here. Commentator guy is right, even if it was only in the Steven Gerrard Testimonial, this is "one of the most ridiculous passes you will ever… » 3/30/15 10:46am Yesterday 10:46am

Zlatan Uses Powerful Hypnosis To Force Keeper Into Shocking Mistake

Some sort of devious eye magic only known by the most learned of warlocks is the only rational explanation for why Moldova's keeper decided to play an inch-perfect cross off of Zlatan Ibrahimović's forehead for the Swede to redirect into the goal (warning: autoplay video): » 3/27/15 6:20pm Friday 6:20pm

Harry Kane Scores In His International Debut, Is Soon To Be Crowned King


All week leading up to today's England-Lithuania Euro 2016 Qualifier, the only thing anyone could talk about was Harry Kane. Will he start? Should he start? Where will he play? How do we make more of him? Coming into the match, you'd have thought the season's Premier League breakout star would get elected Prime… » 3/27/15 5:33pm Friday 5:33pm

Russian Goalkeeper Takes A Flare To The Back Of His Head [UPDATE]

In today's Euro 2016 qualifier between Montenegro and Russia, a flare from the stands hit Russian keeper Igor Akinfeev in the head. Ouch. Here's another look: » 3/27/15 4:11pm Friday 4:11pm

1931 Op-Ed Eviscerates "Hypocrisy ... Utter Cowardice" Of College Sports

It's heartening to realize that the general sentiment toward the scam that is collegiate amateurism seems to have come around to the Death To The NCAA worldview. What's gone unappreciated, though, is just how long the fight to expose the fraudulent governance of amateur sports has been going on. The concept of… » 3/26/15 1:16pm Thursday 1:16pm

USMNT Felled By Hat-Trick Hero Nicklas Bendtner, Who Still Sucks

For the first time this year—at least the first time we'd like to remember—a fit and strong USMNT squad got some run. The opponent was Denmark, stiff competition to be sure. So while USMNT fans could've justifiably been cautiously pleased with the 2-1 lead our boys took into the final 10 minutes of the game, it's… » 3/25/15 5:54pm 3/25/15 5:54pm

Here Are Some EPL Hooligans Brawling, Because That's What They Do Best

"OY, AN' WOT 'ID I 'EAR YOU SAY ABOUT ME MUM?!" one West Ham fan presumably asked the Sunderland fan across from him. Squaring up, the Sunderland hooligan probably said, "YOU 'EARD ME, MATE. ME AN' ME LADS GAVE OL' MUMSIE A GOOD BOFFIN', BUT YOU'RE GONNA LOOK EVEN WORSE THAN THAT OL' HAG WHEN WE'AH DONE WIF YOU!" » 3/23/15 2:06pm 3/23/15 2:06pm

Here's Steven Gerrard's Final Liverpool-Man United Match In Its Entirety

Steven Gerrard made sure his final match in the Liverpool-Manchester United rivalry was a memorable one, but not in the way he'd have hoped. After coming on as a sub at halftime, he received the ball six times, played five passes, made one crunching tackle that could've gotten him a yellow, and ultimately was justly… » 3/22/15 12:11pm 3/22/15 12:11pm

Exquisite Juan Mata Scissor Kick Put Man United 2-0 Up On Liverpool

In what was a fairly insane second half of today's huge Liverpool-Manchester United match, there was at least one moment of brilliance to break up the surrounding nuttiness. That was the criminally underused Juan Mata scoring his second goal of the game in acrobatic fashion. » 3/22/15 11:24am 3/22/15 11:24am

A Virginia Fan And Leet Haxor Wrote Us A Nice Letter

Earlier today, I published a post detailing why I will be wishing a swift and ignominious exit for the Virginia Cavaliers from the NCAA Tournament, centering mostly on the character of the school's students and alumni. We've since received this email from one of said UVa fans, republished in full: » 3/20/15 7:07pm 3/20/15 7:07pm

​​If You Like Painful Basketball And Dickhead Fans, Root For Virginia

Look, I'm not going to complain about Virginia's style of play here. You don't need to read the umpteenth article telling you that there's not much joy to be found in watching their version of rockball which involves, on offense, walking the ball up the court, wheeling man after man around the perimeter off of screen… » 3/20/15 4:06pm 3/20/15 4:06pm

Here's Your 2014-15 Champions League Quarterfinals Draw

After all the action in the Champions League's Round of 16 wrapped up on Wednesday, we now know the matchups for the quarterfinals. The loose theme here seems to be "There Will Be Rematches." » 3/20/15 7:49am 3/20/15 7:49am

Lionel Messi And Cristiano Ronaldo Find Their Final Forms

For a depressingly large group of actuarial soccer fans, this season's thrilling edition of the duel between temporally and cosmically entwined superstars Cristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi has mainly served as another set of cudgels to club down the other's reputation and legacy. Go deeper, because if you're… » 3/19/15 2:39pm 3/19/15 2:39pm

Olivier Giroud Is Good At Everything Except His Job

That right there is the quintessential pose of Olivier Giroud. His head tilted skyward, his face tightened into a pained grimace, his hands slowly making their way upward to his eyes or hair as he attempts to rub away the memory of whatever near-chance he was just unable to put away. » 3/18/15 1:27pm 3/18/15 1:27pm

Why Would Gareth Bale Want To Go Back To England?

There's a battle for Gareth Bale's soul being waged in the media of two different countries. On one side, you have the Spanish press expressing the frustrations of their readers by bashing the player's lazy, timid displays on the pitch. On the other, the press in Bale's native Britain is using its pages to decry his… » 3/17/15 4:17pm 3/17/15 4:17pm