Fat Ronaldo: Still Rocking An Enormous Gut, Still Scoring Goals

Fat Ronaldo was in France today taking part in the UEFA Match Against Poverty, and he put on the single best display of fat-guy athleticism I think I’ve ever seen. Even wheezing up and down the pitch looking like he had a ball in his shirt, he still managed to contort his considerable girth, like a man 70 pounds… » 4/20/15 6:36pm Yesterday 6:36pm

Antoine Griezmann Scored An Acrobatic Scissor Kick Because He's Amazing

Atlético Madrid’s Antoine Griezmann is playing out of his mind right now. In his first season in the incredibly demanding Diego Simeone system, playing in a new position as a central striker, he currently sits atop the non-Messi/Ronaldo La Liga scoring table with 20 goals. His 19th, scored on Saturday against… » 4/20/15 3:43pm Yesterday 3:43pm

Soccer Player Cut From Team After Being Filmed Boning Fan In The Dugout

The man you see above, hands at 1 and 8, eyes rolled back in coital bliss, is Jay Hart of English semi-pro soccer team Clitheroe. Formerly of Clitheroe, more accurately, since he was cut from the team after video of him and the fan you see above bumping uglies in the opposing team’s dugout after a match went public. » 4/20/15 10:23am Yesterday 10:23am

Idiot CONCACAF Exec Compares Sepp Blatter To Jesus, MLK, Mandela

It’s been a long, impossibly close race, but we think we’ve finally found the dumbest FIFA member, and he’s from our very own federation. » 4/17/15 2:22pm Friday 2:22pm

David Luiz's Mom Comes To His Defense After Luis Suárez Humiliated Him

Yesterday, Barcelona's Luis Suárez worked over PSG's David Luiz, hitting him with a brutal and embarrassing nutmeg on his way to a goal. Then he did it again. Sensing that her son could use some soothing words to heal his charred, diced, and nutmeg-flavored ego, his mother posted this message of encouragement: » 4/16/15 9:51am Thursday 9:51am

Jürgen Klopp To Step Down As Borussia Dortmund Manager At End Of Season

After seven seasons, including two Bundesliga titles, one DFB-Pokal trophy, a Champions League final run, and winning the admiration of everyone in the sport, Jürgen Klopp has announced in a press conference today that he will no longer be the manager of Borussia Dortmund on July 1st. » 4/15/15 9:23am Wednesday 9:23am

Eduardo Galeano Has Died; Here Are Excerpts From His Classic Soccer Book

Eduardo Galeano, one of the most beloved writers to ever come from Uruguay and Latin America as a whole, has passed away today at the age of 74 after succumbing to cancer. Galeano was famous for writing about politics and history and war and economics. He also brought the same passion and knowledge that he brought to… » 4/13/15 2:17pm 4/13/15 2:17pm

Kendall Gill Remembers How He Learned Not To Trash Talk Michael Jordan

It’s kind of crazy that we’re still hearing new stories about Michael Jordan’s famously hyper-competitive streak this far past his playing career. Today, Kendall Gill posted a video of one particular incident when MJ got his revenge on him and Alonzo Mourning after the young ‘uns had the audacity to poke His Airness: » 4/09/15 3:50pm 4/09/15 3:50pm

Bayer Leverkusen Player And His Buddies Brawl With Own Club's Security

Yesterday, Emir Spahić's Bayer Leverkusen lost to Bayern Munich in the DFB Pokal. While doing interviews after the match, Spahić apparently witnessed some of his homies he'd brought to the stadium tussling with security. Because he's really 'bout that life, he ran over to join the scrap. » 4/09/15 2:58pm 4/09/15 2:58pm

England-Norway U19s To Replay Final Seconds Of Match After Ref's Error

You know how when you're in the middle of a video game and you save at one point, keep on playing, only to realize you messed something up and go reload from your last save? Well, UEFA is pretty much doing the same thing to rectify a referee's error late in a women's U19 Euro Championship qualifying match. » 4/09/15 10:47am 4/09/15 10:47am

God Save Queens Park Rangers, The Most Fun Bad Team In The EPL

QPR aren't very good. In fact, they're quite terrible. They have the Premier League's second-worst points-per-game rate, have given up by far the most goals, and look generally incompetent performing many of the duties usually required of an EPL-quality club. But goddammit if they aren't the most entertaining side… » 4/08/15 2:32pm 4/08/15 2:32pm