Gareth Bale Is The Fastest Man Alive, Scores Late To Win Copa del Rey

The final el clásico of the year. A one-off match for the Copa del Rey trophy. A trophy-starved Barça's last legitimate shot for silverware. Star man Cristiano Ronaldo out with an injury. And in the middle of all this, newcomer Gareth Bale decided he'd just outrun everyone. » 4/16/14 6:32pm Wednesday 6:32pm

Here Are Nebraska Coaches' Talking Points About Unionization

How are other Big Ten schools handling the tectonic movements set off by the Northwestern football players' unionizing campaign? Very, very cautiously, it seems, to judge by the talking points handed down to Nebraska coaches by an associate athletic director. » 4/14/14 2:28pm Monday 2:28pm

Atlético Madrid Beat Barça In Champions League, Dream Season Continues

It's all fun and games cheering on plucky upstarts Atlético Madrid, right up until the point they tear out your heart and play keepy-uppy with it. So excuse me if I'm not appropriately excited about Atlético's thoroughly deserved and enjoyable-for-neutrals 1-0 Champions League win over Barcelona. » 4/09/14 5:37pm 4/09/14 5:37pm

Typical José: Chelsea's Champions League Win Was Right On Schedule

José Mourinho's teams are some goddamn cockroaches, man. Just when you think you've got them squashed, their viscous innards seeping from their corrugated underbelly—as PSG could've justifiably believed, leading Chelsea 3-1 after the first leg of their Champions League tie—they somehow keep right on crawling and end up… » 4/09/14 2:03pm 4/09/14 2:03pm

Lil B's New Video For "Gotta Make The NBA" May Be His Rarest One Yet

Man, the Based God just doesn't stop innovating. "Gotta Make The NBA," off of the upcoming Hoop Life mixtape that so far has given us such instant classics as "Fuck KD," sees Lil B making his most directly narrative song and video in his illustrious career. » 4/08/14 7:07pm 4/08/14 7:07pm

One Shitty Moment: March Madness's Saddest Players (And Drake)

Just compelling as the faces of the victors in the NCAA tournament are the reactions of those who came up short. I say reactions instead of faces since most of the time, the losers try to hide their faces with their hands, jerseys, towels—whatever's available. Here are the best pictures of those sad players (and… » 4/08/14 4:01pm 4/08/14 4:01pm

Run The Jules: Your Guide To The USMNT's Newest (Maybe?) Star

During last night's USA-Mexico friendly, USMNT fans finally got a glimpse of Julian Green, the 18-year-old superstar-in-the-making(?) who spurned Germany to play for the US. The massive excitement at his arrival is matched only by the massive amount we don't know about him. Who is this guy? Is he really that good? What … » 4/03/14 11:37am 4/03/14 11:37am

Barcelona Slammed With Enormous Transfer Ban For FIFA Rules Violations

Today, FIFA announced unparalleled sanctions against Barcelona for repeated and systemic violations of the international body's youth transfer rules. Barcelona has been banned from any transfer activity for the entirety of next season. This is the coup de grâce in what already has been a monumentally embarrassing season … » 4/02/14 11:48am 4/02/14 11:48am

Watch The Stunning Champions League Strike That Put Atléti Up On Barça

Barcelona welcomed Atlético Madrid to the Camp Nou today in what is becoming a regular rivalry of increasingly large stakes. It was a Champions League matchup this time, as tense and cagey as you'd expect—that is, until Diego decided he'd had enough and straight flattened a ball into the net from about 25 yards. » 4/01/14 5:05pm 4/01/14 5:05pm

How Would An NCAA Union Actually Work? A Guide For Perplexed Pundits

The real triumph of the decades-long propaganda war against organized labor isn't best seen in the ever-declining rate of unionization, or ever-increasing income inequality, or even the way the word "union" functionally works as an epithet. It's seen, instead, in the fact that so many otherwise smart, thoughtful people… » 4/01/14 3:12pm 4/01/14 3:12pm